Memory Holes

Memory Holes

There are holes in the memory

areas where the gallery has collapsed, blocking the way

there are places where a color from the past is associated to the color from another life

as an echo of a wound to live again and heal

you reach there to grasp that elusive memory

and suddenly you are traveling through time to another place, another body

and you remember, and you understand why your life has unraveled as it has


From what I have gathered I was the one to betray you in another life

I betrayed you by dying untimely, by abandoning you on your own with your sorrow

and for several years you lived with no other consolation but the memories you had of me

and each time you thought of them you cried for they were lost, forever lost

and you’d meet me no more until God’s judgment


And now it is my turn to wait for you, my turn to see you betraying me, through your silence and your indifference

I can cry in the night, I can shout at heaven and you won’t come back

I can implore, supplicate and threaten until my throat hurts in vain

It is my turn to live the desperation you have lived, this hopelessness that comes with the finality of death

it is my task to confront this melancholy and cast its shadows out my heart and learn to trust in life

whether you are or aren’t of this world, I will meet you again someday

and our beings will reunite in an embrace that will be complete and eternal


And now we must focus on clearing the way to retrieve the memories we have lost

the wounds we have buried, one stone after another is taken from this underground

and used to build the cathedral of our heart

mirroring one another we dig and dig relentlessly

with pickaxes and with our fingers when we don’t find any tool

bringing back these anguishes into life

until they vanish in a puff of smoke

like the bad memories they are