Stepping in Society

I’ve discovered tonight that I still wasn’t truly myself in society

when I am surrounded with people I worry about contenting them

but I shouldn’t, I shouldn’t

the focus should be on myself

on being happy, on doing only what I am convinced with

And then harmony will reign within and around me

 

Other people are intuitive souls just as much as I am

they’re not kids whom I need to protect or explain life to

and it is my right to declare this journey of mine personal

my right to be who I truly am, with my current imperfections

my right to climb at my own pace the ridge of life

and no one needs to judge or evaluate what I do

But when they do, they’re helping me in an unexpected way

they mirror me, mirror my inner fears

as long as I will be dependent on people feedback, as long as I will crave for their appreciation, I will keep on hearing criticism I do not want to hear

Now I need to become entirely confident in who I am

that is the true challenge, accepting myself, knowing that my writing and my painting may not be perfect according to rational, arbitrary criteria, but they are perfect for me, for they are truthful, and perfect for anyone who listens from a space of heart-mind, intent not on judging but on loving

I need to stop being afraid of other people, stop being afraid to be myself

all my life this fear has accompanied me, handicapped me in society

afraid of my own body, of my own voice, of my own physical existence

when I am so comfortable with written words, quite capable to write truthfully even if it’s going to grind at others

now, that’s enough, the true me I find and consolidate in my writings

I need to express when surrounded with others

remembering that all the answers lie within

that no one knows the best for me but myself

 

And I’ve understood too, my twin of love and shadows

that I was portraying your own fears not to make it, not to achieve your dream

when I wonder if my writing has any value or not, when I become shy before the most famous poets and writers deeming myself unworthy, I am simply manifesting the doubt you told me about

this doubt still preventing you from getting rid of constraints and doing what you truly love