Maelstrom of the Past

There are days when I can’t get started

I have too many contradictory ideas in me

like contrary winds clashing

and it leaves me frustrated and uncreative

 

It often happens after spending one night under the influence of the Maelstrom of the past

this wind that blows in your dream and brings back the memory, the anguishes

of who you were, and not who you are now

and when you wake up in the morning you realize you have drowned again in all the things you thought were over

and you’re confused about who you truly are, confused between the past and the present

and when you are not strong enough you relapse into the past even during the day

 

Today I want to avoid that, I want to keep the consciousness and the wisdom I’ve been accumulating

without drowning in old issues, old fears

it is hard, hard to change, to walk on the path toward yourself

the past is always looming close whispering to you it’s easier to remain who you are

to indulge in your cravings and your bad habits

and it takes a lot of wakefulness to fight it away