Fear of conflicts

I’m afraid of your harshness

I’m afraid you shout again at me

or you speak me with sternness

I’m afraid to awaken your ire

and that prevents me from knowing what is right

 

This fear goes farther in the past

As a child I was always afraid to scolded or mocked

I felt I lost my right to exist when somebody was angry with me

as though I didn’t deserve to live

Conflicts terrified me, except when I was angry myself

Angry enough not to think of consequences

 

 

I must balance my impatience with my creativity and my love

but in either cases your reply is the same, a wall

and that makes it so difficult to find the right dance

of writing you when it’s right

and keeping the silence and our peace of heart

when it’s a moment of rest