Oppressed memories

A cistern of self-hate

exists hidden

somewhere within you

When triggered

it starts pouring

its bitterness

through all your limbs

Maddening your mind

Poisoning your heart

Hurting your body


This dangerous place is awakened

when you are not satisfied

with you day

with your life

Instead of doing what you should do

what you ought to do

what you want to do

to reach your dreamed happiness

you just start doing the exact opposite

you become self-destructive

to yourself and people around you


This place is very afraid of love

and that’s why it behaves as it does

pushing you to behave in a way

your normal self would never


When you fall into that infernal loop

of restless energy and boiling anger and dampening sadness

remember it all is an illusion

a fear of happiness and love

preventing you from loving yourself

as you deserve to be loved



“Oppressed memories” is a watercolor I painted a few months ago